The 26th

I'm still here. Still alive.

I know it has been a while, but I haven't been in the best shape. I've been...recovering. From an attack on the 26th, just like Robert said would happen. But...it was just It that attacked me. Everything related to that mother fucker hauled ass to get to me, and it almost worked. There were Hallowed, there were mental assaults, and there was...It. It came after me in all It's fucking glory, or power, or whatever you want to call the goddamn thing.

I feel...different, somehow. I took a life. One of the Hallowed came after me and left me no choice, and it's just made me feel so much...different. I feel like I'm not the same, immature kid who first started this journey to live. I don't want to be reckless with my experiments and I don't want to fight this thing in such a way that I leave you guys hanging like I did before. I want to be able to aide, but not die in the process. I feel like I have something I'm needed for now...I can't believe that that poor man I took down deserved what he got. He didn't. None of us do.

So what happened?

The 26th was, quite possibly, the worst day of my life since leaving home. Early in the morning, I was ambushed crossing state lines by a group of Hallowed. That was when I was forced to make a choice; kill one of the Hallowed, of let myself die. Survival instinct kicked in...he came at me, I drew my knife, and then he was gone. I'd like to think I put him out of his misery, but maybe that's just how I sleep at night...whatever works.

Later, I blacked out. I remember a lot of...floating, sort of. I'm almost certain It moved me because when I woke up I was, I think, in a different place than when I passed out. I was definitely half-Hallowed for the duration. I remember getting the memories...of the man I killed...for a short time I think. It was surreal, I'll tell you that, But I managed to fend of It's influence and came to my own senses. I believe that...the Hallowed are conscious, on some level. I am almost certain of that, after my experiences as a half-Hallowed. I'll update with more if I figure anything out.

When I finally saw It...i was half drained, to the point of exhaustion, passing out. It came at me from the forest, I was walking near. It kind of...strutted, like it planned on easily taking me. I think It expected me to be Hallowed by this point. And it just...looked at me. It looked at me with that faceless head of It's, and I stared back...I stared into the fucking face of death and you know what?

I am not afraid.

I have already lost too much to be afraid of this thing.

I managed to break my gaze and run, Operator symbol on my back, and put enough distance between us for It to give up chase. This is my ultimate victory. I survived the unsurvivable, and I'm going to whip back at It with a vengeance. I'm done setting up experiments and learning more about it. It is time to set up traps, and attempt to hurt this thing.

I've heard there are new Sages. That Robert is gone and has become the Guardian. I want you Three, now, to help me while I try to hurt this thing. I've got all the previous Sages' knowledge and understanding of this creature backing me...now I need you to help me. Find new information, perform new experiments, look for whatever is out there. We will beat this. Together.

I feel like we are ready to make a stand. To fight. In Robert's behalf. For the green light. For whatever the hell awaits us after we're done with this lfie of torment and terror.

Let's make a stand. Let's find the Hero.