Check this out

http://futuregrudgereport.blogspot.com

Will be updating soon. Possibly from over there. We'll see.

Peace.

I prayed to God today. I asked Him to give me guidance and strength and lead me through this hardship. I asked for love and light, hope and courage. It was while I was looking out over the horizon this morning, preparing to head out again for the day. I'm only posting this because i thought it was inspiring and needed to be put down.

I felt so full of hope this morning...a calming peace. Even as I looked outat only sky in the horizon, clouds and earth meeting as one. Even as I looked at the long, hard journey before me, I saw my end. I saw what would be and where I would go, and i felt completely at peace with it. I don't know if I will make it out of this alive, or sane. I don't know if I'll ever see my loved ones again. But come what may, let it be. I am ready for the future, and I am not afraid.

I don't exactly know why I'm posting this. I just felt I had to...I'm praying for all the Runners out there who are scared...lonely...cold...and afraid. I pray for those less fortunate than me. This is not the worst life has to offer, surprising as it may seem. And life still has so much to give.

So do we.

I've got someone willing to put me up for a few nights. Hopefully, all will go well while I'm there. But whatever happens, remember that we are stronger than we seem, that we don't know our own power, and what we're worth. And that love will see us through all hardship.

Peace,
Shaun.

Looking for a place to stay...

So, I know it's been a while since I've talked to anyone. I am sorry about that. I've been busy trying not to die and keeping low on the radar. It's been a tough couple of days, what with the cold weather and the shitty inadequate winter clothing. I need to go on a 'shopping' spree.

Anyway, as you might have guessed, I'm looking for a place to stay. I'm headed east to go meet up with M. That's right, M and I are going to catch up on old times and get in touch with each other soon. He and I talked this over, and right now it seems like the best bet for the two of us. We need a solid plan.

In the mean time, I'm in the market for a roomie. If you're willing to put up with...a risk like this. Then I'll be exponentially appreciative and as respectful as I possibly can be. I know it's dangerous. But I'm in no shape right now to be wandering from Missouri to New York on my own...I need help.

If anyone out there can help me, I'd love it. We'll see what comes of all this.

Peace out,
Shaun

Goodbye, Robert

I wanted to give our friend a proper send off, as I feel he was one of the bravest among us. Still is, in fact.

As a Sage, Robert did more to counter-act It and work towards It's ultimate defeat than any of us thus far combined. Yes, I've done experiments, M has his Rules, and Jay did work with things some of us might be too terrified to touch...but Robert took a stand in a bold way. He went further into this than any of us have before. Even Zeke, as far as I know, never visited the Other Side. Do any of you think you could repeat the brave sacrifice which Robert made, if given the chance, if knowing the consequences?

I don't beleive I would be able to.

So I'd like to take this opportunity to honor Rob, because he was one helluva Fighter. As Guardian, he not only Guards the Weapon meant for the Hero, but Guards our souls. Our hopes. Our dreams. He has shown that there is a light within us all, that will guide us to the ultimate Light at the end of this long, dark tunnel. It is hard, I know, but we will make it through. I promise you that.

Now it seems, in his final comments to us, Robert has labeled me a (Guide) now. I'm not sure if that's wholly accurate, myself. Do I have the strength of will it takes to (Guide) others in the manner that Rob proposes I do? I don't know. I am not as strong a man as you all seem to think. I am still walking this path, just as all of you are. I may falter, and i may slip off, though I pray I do not. I don't know what lays ahead for all of us, or even for myself.

But we must have Faith. I will continue to walk this path as best I can, and I plan on learning some things along the way. Learning about It, about us as Fighters, and about our ultimate fate whether we live or die in this cruel time. I'm still me. I'll still be performing the experiments, btu thsi time I have a plan. An idea for what is to come. And if some, the Three new Sages especially, can take (Guidance) from that...good for them. I'll do all I can to help.

I know the journey has been long, my friends. It will be longer still. But we wil lface this darkness. We will arm ourselves with knowledge, understanding, and light...and we will one day find the Green Light, waiting for us like he always has been. Until then, stay safe. Stay strong.

Peace out.
Shaun

P.S.- I'll be explaining more about where I've been soon...I need time to rest. I'm moruning a lost friend...

The 26th

I'm still here. Still alive.

I know it has been a while, but I haven't been in the best shape. I've been...recovering. From an attack on the 26th, just like Robert said would happen. But...it was just It that attacked me. Everything related to that mother fucker hauled ass to get to me, and it almost worked. There were Hallowed, there were mental assaults, and there was...It. It came after me in all It's fucking glory, or power, or whatever you want to call the goddamn thing.

I feel...different, somehow. I took a life. One of the Hallowed came after me and left me no choice, and it's just made me feel so much...different. I feel like I'm not the same, immature kid who first started this journey to live. I don't want to be reckless with my experiments and I don't want to fight this thing in such a way that I leave you guys hanging like I did before. I want to be able to aide, but not die in the process. I feel like I have something I'm needed for now...I can't believe that that poor man I took down deserved what he got. He didn't. None of us do.

So what happened?

The 26th was, quite possibly, the worst day of my life since leaving home. Early in the morning, I was ambushed crossing state lines by a group of Hallowed. That was when I was forced to make a choice; kill one of the Hallowed, of let myself die. Survival instinct kicked in...he came at me, I drew my knife, and then he was gone. I'd like to think I put him out of his misery, but maybe that's just how I sleep at night...whatever works.

Later, I blacked out. I remember a lot of...floating, sort of. I'm almost certain It moved me because when I woke up I was, I think, in a different place than when I passed out. I was definitely half-Hallowed for the duration. I remember getting the memories...of the man I killed...for a short time I think. It was surreal, I'll tell you that, But I managed to fend of It's influence and came to my own senses. I believe that...the Hallowed are conscious, on some level. I am almost certain of that, after my experiences as a half-Hallowed. I'll update with more if I figure anything out.

When I finally saw It...i was half drained, to the point of exhaustion, passing out. It came at me from the forest, I was walking near. It kind of...strutted, like it planned on easily taking me. I think It expected me to be Hallowed by this point. And it just...looked at me. It looked at me with that faceless head of It's, and I stared back...I stared into the fucking face of death and you know what?

I am not afraid.

I have already lost too much to be afraid of this thing.

I managed to break my gaze and run, Operator symbol on my back, and put enough distance between us for It to give up chase. This is my ultimate victory. I survived the unsurvivable, and I'm going to whip back at It with a vengeance. I'm done setting up experiments and learning more about it. It is time to set up traps, and attempt to hurt this thing.

I've heard there are new Sages. That Robert is gone and has become the Guardian. I want you Three, now, to help me while I try to hurt this thing. I've got all the previous Sages' knowledge and understanding of this creature backing me...now I need you to help me. Find new information, perform new experiments, look for whatever is out there. We will beat this. Together.

I feel like we are ready to make a stand. To fight. In Robert's behalf. For the green light. For whatever the hell awaits us after we're done with this lfie of torment and terror.

Let's make a stand. Let's find the Hero.