I refuse to succumb to that asshole, that monster's tricks. It wants my brain, It's going to have to tear it out of my skull. I am NOT going to become one of those freaks, walking around praising it in place of God. I don't bow to any monster.
I know, you're all probably wondering how the hell I'm still around. So am I, to be honest with you.
That was me posting that crazy message below, and sneidng crazy emails to Jay. Except...it wasn't me. It was It. Whatever that Thing is, It tried to take me over. I've been feeling nauseous and sick the weeks prior, and it's why I generally haven't updated as much as before, or done any experiments. It's been clawing at the inside of my mind, and all my concentration and effort went to preventing it from getting me. Somehow, It still did.
I was hitching a secret ride on the back of some guy's truck in the middle of nowhere when it happened. Actually, the guy didn't know I was in his truck, but I think he'd rather not seeing what happened next.
I sat tehre for a little while, and all of the sudden things got dead quiet. Looked aorund, saw nothing. I figured It must have been there somewhere, but...I couldn't see It anywhere close by, so I relaxed and tried to get some sleep. The instant I shut my eyes, I had a throbbing headache. It was like nails were being pounded into my brain.(This would have been an excellent time to monitor MY brain activity, eh, Jay?) When I opened my eyes up...there It was. Right on the back of the truck with me.
Things get fuzzy after that. I remember the truck tires screeching loudly. I remember the truck swerving. But what i don't remember is ever crashing or even passing out. It was just, one moment we're about to crach and It's looming over me with it's arms outstretched-- the next, I'm waking up in the middle of a forest and there's a laptop and a camera next to me. They're not mine, and I don't remember stealing them during my episode...but they're there.
There was a message on the laptop. It said 'Run.'
I refuse to call it a him any longer. it is not my master, and I feel like, by calling it by name or calling It something like that, I feed into its power-- over me, and over everyone else. I don't even like capitalizing 'It', but it's for clarity's sake. So oh well.
I'm going to start filming my travels with this camera of mine. I want you guys to know how I'm doing, and I want to demonstrate some things that might help keep people safe. You'll see. I've got soem ideas cooking. I plan to up the ante on my experiments. that fucker can't keep me down, and if It things I'm scared of it now, it's got another thing coming. Fucking bastard. Come into my mind and see what happens, why don't ya?
And I guess I can edit my videos with the laptop, haha. I wonder if that's what I intended when I stole them? Or if someone gave them to me for that express purpose...either way, I'm not sure what to do now. I'm still heading East, right now I've found a hotspot to type from.
One more thing before I go. I still want you guys to give me ideas for experiments, and for that, you've got to trust me. So if I don't end my messages with "Peace out", even through email to you or otherwise-- don't trust me. Because I'm not me, not if I'm not typing that. Hopefully, that'll be enough.
Don't let It win.